Grief? Yea, It Sucks. Part 3
Funny thing is that I’m not in a dark place, at the moment, with my grief. Its always there, but it’s not at the surface today. Generally, I’m feeling excited about the future, looking forward to the rest of the day (I’m writing this mid-morning on a Monday), and have felt productive for most of the day.
So what about grief sucks on a day like this? The fact that I was feeling all of those things and still dropped the book I was reading (Later by Stephen King), fired up my laptop and started writing this. Grief was sitting in the back of my head just roiling by itself and forced my hand. I would rather be reading at this moment, but I felt compelled to get something down. Nothing in particular, just a sense of unease that was sitting with me.
I share these thoughts so that it helps those not suffering through intense grief maybe understand a bit better those who are suffering. I don’t want anyone to understand the grief of losing a close loved one at an age that it shouldn’t be happening. Loss at any age is difficult, but loss early in life is exceedingly difficult. It's important to know that those suffering from this type of grief can’t control much of it. I’m three years out from losing my wife of 21 years, and I still have moments of just pure sadness that overwhelm me. Sure, I’m better at handling it, as well as better at not showing it, but it is very much present.
It can be difficult to know what to do when someone is grieving, or it feels like it's a long way out and they should be further through it. Just be patient, don’t push too much, but do bring their behavior up, if you are a close friend. Sometimes I don’t recognize when I’m down and my friends will find ways to gently remind me — not to make me happy, but simply to help me see what they are seeing. I can then decide how I should handle it from there.
That’s all for today, seems my brain is appreciative of pushing out this short piece on grief today. I can feel my pseudo-headache receding and maybe I can dive back into my Stephen King book.
